The Average American Male by Chad Kultgen

This was one of the most hilariously inappropriate and surprising books that I've ever read. I think it was really more surprising than anything, since I wasn't expecting the sharp, crude humor that filled the pages. The title should tell it all, a story told from the point of view of a nameless male narrator in his mid to late 20's, and all the mental observations that come from having such a narrator. If this sounds like your cup of tea shot of whiskey, then keep going and read my 4 out of 5 star review of this novel. But fair warning: This will be one of my more offensive and crude reviews, as the book calls for nothing less. >:)

From the publisher:
An offensive, in-your-face, brutally honest and completely hilarious look at male inner life and sexual fantasy. In the course of this hilariously honest book, our narrator suffers through a relationship with his vapid wannabe-actress girlfriend until he finds the perfect girl. But when he moves into the new relationship, he slowly learns that all women are pretty much the same, that man's true desires will never be fulfilled, and the decision between living life alone or biting the marriage bullet must be made.


My thoughts:
I was really thrown off when the entirety of the first chapter is "Same old bullshit." and the second chapter opens with our narrator contemplating the factors that alter a man's perception: "I wonder what it is, other than age, that turns a mouth a man would want to put his cock in into a twitching hole getting yogurt shoveled into it with a baby spoon." Mostly because as soon as this happened, I couldn't help but wonder the same thing. And then I started twitching in horror, realizing at what this implied for any older women I've come across in the community. Kultgen doesn't hold anything back in this novel, and almost any topic or situation is the perfect setting for him to bring up sexual fantasies, concerns, and quandaries. Family gatherings, parties, sitting next to the hot redhead on an airplane... This is the average American mind?! Freaky. And I am, in fact, a guy.



The thought of yogurt is so tainted now...

Writing this review is tricky because one theme throughout the novel is that guys quickly and frequently turn to sex in their minds (also, that virtually all women boil down to the same being). How can I write this review as a guy, knowing that my friends and family would be reading this review and therefore wondering what's going on in an average male's mind? I got over that pretty quickly though, since most women I know have read or are interested in reading 50 Shades of Grey and other assorted smut romance novels. (I would know, I read that so-called book and here's my review of it.) In any case, while I can't deny that a lot of the observations our narrator makes in this book have crossed my mind at one point or another, I do like to think that my mind spends a little less time out of the gutter than in it..

In any case, The Average American Male is a great read, fast paced and entertaining, but with a kernel of insight to make you stop and think. Sometimes, the thinking leads to nightmares, but that's to be expected when every other sentence has some lewd comment or innuendo that you have spent years learning to ignore and repress in the real world. I had a great time with this novel, but just be aware opening the first page that this is offensive and lewd and essentially directed at college-age men. Or open minded people of any other demographic (but still over 18). I for one am very excited to start reading Kultgen's sequel, The Average American Marriage.

Justin

Oh, and this. Just so you have a visual ;)